Once a week I would travel there and back to attend Centre meditations, arriving back home between 1:00 – 2:00 in the morning. This happened for about three years (until I finally moved to Auckland!) and in that time I experienced many different types of sleep whilst driving. In fact I had categories for it, ranging from merely weary, through varying levels of stupor, to a light doze.

My most memorable sleep experience happened one time when I was working 15-18 hours per day, seven days per week, preparing for an international conference, and some nights not going to bed at all because of the workload. I remember leaping into the car and shooting off to Auckland and being very very tired in the meditation. I think Subarata and Jogyata tried to get me to stay at Bhuvah’s place for the night, so I would be fresher, but I had to get back to the lab. I was a bit worried about the trip as I had reached pinnacle levels of fatigue.

On the way home the car was heading past the halfway point when I became dimly aware that my chin was on my chest, and that I was wakening from a very deep and restful oblivion. Coming back into the world, as my head slowly raised, I perceived my arms, which were blue and luminous and shining in the dark. I was becoming slowly and groggily aware that, although I was the sole occupant of the car, I was not actually the one driving it. This continued for some seconds – I marvelled a bit as my senses returned slowly – that I could not feel sensation in my limbs but was an observer watching the car being effortlessly driven by my body.

Then full awareness dawned suddenly – the blue disappeared and I was back – panicking and wrenching the wheel to avoid heading for the ditch, when I fully realised that "no one" was driving the car!!

What really freaked me out was the knowledge that a chunk of the journey – a duration of 15 or 20 minutes or so – was entirely unaccounted for. I also remembered how vivid the blue of my arms was and there was a sense of elation in my heart. Yet my hair stood on end as I grappled with the enormity of the miracle that had happened and the thought of what could have happened if the miracle had not.

Subarata said that I should not test Grace like that again so I began having coffee with me whenever I drove.

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One day, about mid-morning, Sri Chinmoy was relaxing in the breakfast area and disciples were lingering about meditating and relaxing. I was leaning against a pillar, a little way away, meditating and feeling peaceful. After a while Sri Chinmoy got up and left and the disciples dispersed. I stood up straight and that is as far as I got because from around the corner came a most glorious vision that transfixed me to the spot.

The vision was so intense I could not even breathe – I saw an exquisite, extremely beautiful young girl of about 17 years old, very pale and unearthly, with the most flawless and perfect complexion and features of anyone I had ever seen. She had a halo/aura of the purest white all around her and she herself was all white – dressed in white and with incredibly white skin – and with a sternness, purity and sweetness of expression that I have also never seen before. She was very slim and fine and my whole concentration was drawn to her and her luminosity filled my entire vision. She was magnificent (I cannot even describe it because the English language is too limited), grand, majestic and I knew I was looking at Absolute Purity. Her intensity was so strong that I thought I would explode – her being took up my entire focus – it was impossible to look elsewhere. I was getting so desperate for air at this point that I was starting to black out – but still I couldn't take a breath – and I tried hard!

She looked vaguely familiar but I knew I had never seen such a perfect, serene and beautiful creature before. As she was going past me, her luminosity sort of dissolved and her physical came into view – and it was Hiranmoyi! – one of Sri Chinmoy's students from Canada. In the few seconds (which seemed like a lifetime!) that she had taken to go past me I had been rooted and unable to breathe, but when she passed by I was released from a sort of spell or mesmerisation and could breathe again. I felt weak, humbled, amazed and inspired, and had to stay leaning against the pole for about ten minutes to recover somewhat. I saw the world with new, fresh eyes for a few days afterwards. In that time, whenever I saw Hiranmoyi, I could see a special radiance and sparkle about her which told me that this girl – this perfect being – was actually present and I was awed.

It took me five years to reveal to Hiranmoyi this very personal revelation that I had had with regard to her, and she gave me a special sari to commemorate it. Whenever I see or wear the sari it reminds me of the experience, which is still so powerful and vivid that I can recall distinct details about it as if it had happened yesterday.

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